


Letters from Lance

by kierstynmcclements



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotional Rollercoaster, M/M, Oneshot, Why Did I Write This?, kinda sad, slight langst, young klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 05:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierstynmcclements/pseuds/kierstynmcclements
Summary: Keith goes away and Lance doesn't know why, so he writes him a series of letters.





	Letters from Lance

Letters from Lance

 

I’m making memories with other people now. I still have all the memories I made with you, but you went far away. So I met new people, and I’m making new memories. I wanted to tell you, just so that you didn’t think I had forgotten you. I haven’t. I promise. I’m just trying to keep going. You always told me not to be sad if you went away, right? I’m doing what you said. I miss you a lot though and sometimes it’s too hard for me to be around the other people, because I just miss you so terribly that my heart aches and my eyes leak.

 

 

5/31/17  
It was your birthday the other day, right? I made a cupcake and I ate it, just like we would on your birthday. It was chocolate with vanilla frosting and glittery rainbow sprinkles. It was so sweet, but it made me sad to look at it when I didn’t have you next to me. Especially when I couldn’t hand you the frosting that I didn’t eat. I wasn’t able to see you with the frosting on you nose from eating too fast. I wish you would come back home. I wish we could have celebrated your birthday together, like we usually do. 

 

 

6/13/17  
I think my new friends would have liked you. They like a lot of the thinks we liked together, like playing on the swings and drawing with chalk on the street. My mom got me a sketch pad and special pencils cause she said I was really good at drawing. I think I’m going to draw you first, with a big smile, just cause I miss seeing it. When you come home, maybe I’ll show you, if it’s any good of course. 

 

 

6/22/17  
I wear your jacket all the time now. You know the one, the red one with the white on the middle. It’s my favorite because it reminds me of you, so I never forget. My new friends think I’m super cool because I wear it. I didn’t tell them that it was yours. I decided to keep the jacket as a secret between you and I. It was your favorite, right? Why’d you leave it behind? I remember that time that you thought you left it at the playground, so you started crying and we went back to get it with my brother. I gave you mine until we got there, just to help you stop crying. I don’t like when you cry, Keith. Your violet eyes get all blurry and your face gets all blotchy, and your pretty voice sounds so sad, it makes me want to cry with you. So I gave you my jacket. It was much too big for you, like it was me. Mama said I’ll grow into it one day, but you’re much smaller than I am. You looked warm and beautiful, even though your eyes were red and your nose was proceeding to leak down your chin. 

 

 

7/14/17  
I finished my drawing of you. It’s not very good, your eyes are too far apart and your mouth is too big for your face. I’ll fix it so it looks just like you. My mom is taking me to get fancy colored pencils so that I can color you in once I’m done drawing. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find the perfect purple for your eyes. Your eyes are my favorite part of you, cause they’re so much different than anyone I know. My mama said they were one of a kind, just like you! I wish to see them in person again someday. Come home soon, please. 

 

 

7/28/17  
Where did you go, mi amigo? Today is one of the days that it hurts without you. It’s my thirteenth birthday. My dad said I should have a party, but I wasn’t feeling like celebrating this year. It’s been three months since you left. I grew three and a half inches, and my hair is much lighter. I hope you haven’t changed much, Keith. I hope your hair is still long, that you still scowl at everyone, that the way you get excited when you talk about aliens hasn’t changed. When are you coming back? I hope it’s soon. I haven’t been able to get close to any of my friends the way we were. Not that I’m trying to replace you, because it’s impossible for me to do that, but I’m lonely without you. 

 

 

8/19/17  
School starts next week. Junior high, and I have to do it without my best friend. But it’s okay, I’ll keep going, like you told me too. Mama got me a new pair of sneakers that are really gonna make me look cool on the first day. They are all black with blue violet laces. I’m going to wear them and your jacket on the first day. That way I feel like you’re with me. Junior high, eh Keith? Crazy, how old we’re getting, isn’t it? I think so. Hopefully my teacher is nice and maybe I’ll have fun in my classes. Maybe I’ll make some friends. I wonder who I’m going to sit with at lunch, it used to be just you and I, remember?  

 

 

8/30/17  
Mrs. Camila, the old lady who lives next door, the one who used to give us cookies, she still asks about you. She asks where you had gone and I tell her that I don’t know. She cried the first time. I didn’t understand why, still don’t understand. It’s not like you died. You just went away. We all wish you would just hurry up and come back already. 

 

 

9/12/17  
School was okay, my teachers are kind of strict and I don’t know anybody in my classes. I also am having a hard time understanding it all and managing to do my homework. I sit by myself at lunch, but that’s okay. The old ladies there try to get me to sit with people, but I don’t know them, so I tell them that I’m okay with sitting alone. Which I am. Junior high is a lot harder than elementary school, there are so many people in the halls all at once. Some kid even ruined my new sneakers by dumping sauce on them. He glared at me when he was done, so I don’t think it was an accident, even though I told my mom it probably was. He’s in my gym class too, and he’s much bigger than I am. Taller than me by almost 4 inches and his limbs aren’t lanky and awkward like mine. He hits me a lot when we play dodgeball. He asked how my boyfriend was doing, but I don’t have one. I didn’t understand that he was talking about you. You aren’t my boyfriend either though. He made it seem like it was wrong for boys to like boys. My mama told me that I could like whoever I wanted, but some people, like that mean kid, would always be against me. A boy in my gym stood up for me that day. He was big like the other kid, but along with muscle, he had some chub. He told me to call him Hunk. He is very nice. Perhaps he’ll sit with me at lunch. I’ll have to ask him on Monday. 

 

 

10/2/17  
I remember our sleepovers that you and I used to have, the ones where we would stay up all night eating chips and playing video games, until the next morning when my mama would come in to see us curled up on the beanbags, still holding the controllers with chip crumbs on our pajamas. Those were the best sleepovers. I want to invite Hunk over for a sleepover, but I feel like I would be betraying you. Would you be okay with that, Keith?

 

 

10/29/17  
It’s been five and a half months since you left… Nobody has heard anything from you. Your mom is beginning to get restless, worried. I am too, but Mom told me to focus on school. The kids at school told me it’s baby like to call my mom mama, so now I call her mom. She cried when I told her why. Speaking of school, my grades aren’t the greatest. I don’t have you as my study buddy anymore, and I’m constantly fidgeting in class. It’s not like I’m not trying to pay attention, because I am, but it’s just very hard for me to focus on arithmetic when I know that you are out in the world somewhere. Please come home, I want you to meet Hunk, and we can all have a sleepover together. 

 

 

11/16/17  
Do you remember when we pranked my brothers into believing you never came over that one time? It was so funny, the looks on their faces still crack me up. My little sister Cleo misses you as well, Keith. She comes in sometimes asking when the next sleepover is. I told her that you went away and that there would be no more sleepovers, and she clung to my leg asking why. Why? Why did you have to leave? I told her I didn’t know, but I wish I did. Maybe if I knew I would have been able to make you stay here. 

 

 

11/30/17  
I wish you would just hurry up and come back. I want to go camping with you, play video games with you, eat chips and prank people with you. I want to go to parties and eat cupcakes with you. I want to switch jackets and ride bikes with you. I want to hug you and never let you go again. I want my best friend back. Please come home, Keith. Don’t you miss me? It’s horrible without you. Come home, we still have more memories to make.

 

 

1/23/18  
They found you, Keith. It’s been eight months of looking, but we found you. You’re coming home tomorrow. I’m so excited to see you. I’m going to hug you and never let you go. We’re going to have so many sleepovers. You got into a car accident, but the person who was driving, your uncle, got you out of the car and moved you far away. He was too injured, so he died. You were left alone far away from home, with no way to get back, or to contact anyone. They said you wondered in the direction you were going for three days, until you passed out of dehydration. Someone driving by found you and brought them to their house to give you something to eat and drink. You were so scared, not trusting of them, just like you always are with new people. You lost your phone in the crash and had no phone numbers memorized, so you couldn’t call home. So the people who found you allowed you to stay with them. They gave you a guest bedroom and new clothes.

 

 

1/24/18  
You started school in the new district that you were in. You made a friend, the police officer told me his name was Shiro. He had a metal arm and a pink scar on his nose. Then one day, three months after you started school, Shiro disappeared. You got so worried, and you were alone. Did you think of me then? I spent every minute you were away thinking of you, praying that you would come home soon. I guess you were thinking the same about Shiro… I wonder if you even missed me the way I missed you. What am I saying? Of course you did, you are my best friend after all, right, Keith?

 

 

1/26/18  
The police officers said they found Shiro too, and that he was coming with you when you came home tomorrow. He didn’t have a family, so your mom said she would take him in. I hope he didn’t replace me in your heart, but I kind of know that he did. It’s okay though. I’ll just protect you from a distance… This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I figured you would come home, and everything would go back to normal, but that’s not going to happen, is it? Things are going to be different, you are going to be different. I hope you like the drawing of you I made while you were gone. Maybe you’ll hang it on your wall, or maybe you’ll throw it out. I don’t really know you anymore. A lot can change in eight months. While you were gone I also wrote you letters, like this one. Maybe I’ll give them to you too. Maybe not. I have to go, Cleo has a soccer game. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? 

 

 

1/27/18  
Your hair has gotten longer, and you have freckles covering your nose and just under your eyes. Speaking of your eyes, they’re slightly lighter than violet now, and you seem to smile more often. Shiro makes you laugh more than I ever did. Your laugh sounds like bells on a early summer morning. I only saw you by looking out my window this morning, when the people who watched over you dropped you off across the street. Your mom hugged you for ten minutes straight. I thought you might glance towards my house, see me peeking out the window, and wave motioning for me to come down, but you turned to your new friend instead, introducing him to your mom. My mama called up the stairs to me, trying to get me to go see you, but I didn’t want to bother you. You’d come see me when you wanted to. You grew taller, you were the same height as your mom now, even though I tower over her now.

 

 

1/28/18  
Hunk is coming over today, I wanted to introduce you to him, but you seem busy catching up with your mom, so I’ll wait for another day, unless you come over while he’s here. Goodness, I missed you, Keith. I hope you missed me. You carry yourself with more pride now. Before, your shoulders would be hunched over slightly, like you were constantly ready to fold in on yourself if you had to. Now though, you have a fighter’s aura around you, ready for anything.

 

 

1/29/18  
Funny how I was so ready for you to come home, but now that you’re back, I’m too anxious to even say hello. You would have called me a coward. And I guess I was. Too scared to face the possibility that you could have replaced me. I was wincing at the thought that you could have had such an easy time removing me from your life, when I spent months crying to myself to sleep because I missed you. Not only am I a coward, but I am pathetic. Too pathetic to deserve to see you. 

 

 

2/3/18  
I haven’t left my room for days. I haven’t eaten, or spoken to anyone. You haven’t come over yet. Hunk came over the other day, but I wouldn’t let him into my room. My cheeks are tearstained, and my hands are shaky. You have consumed my thoughts every millisecond of the day and into the night. Mama is worried about me. I am worried about me, but I seem to find comfort in the chaos. It seems to be one of the few things I can rely on. Your mom came over a little bit ago, trying to coax me out of my room. I will only leave if you ask me to, Keith. But you won’t. I haven’t gone to school, Hunk is bringing me my homework, not that I’m going to do that. I don’t understand what I’m doing in any of my classes. I figured you would help me, but you won’t. Because I won’t ask you. I don’t want to be a bother to you. Sometimes that’s all I feel like. A huge bother to everyone. Sometimes I think the world would be better off without Lance McClain. And then I remember, I am the only Lance McClain in the world. I would not have been born if I did not have a purpose on this earth. I just wish that I was your purpose, the way you are mine. Please come see me, Keith. I am slowly tearing myself apart, piece by piece, and only your hugs can put me back together again. 

 

 

2/4/18  
Your mom must have told you that I wasn’t doing well. That I wouldn’t leave my room, or eat. You came up the stairs like you always did, slowly and softly. Tracing over the edging on the wall maybe. Or looking at the photos that lined the walls above the rails. But then your feet stopped in front of my door. I held my breath, for this was the moment of truth. I held your jacket in my hands, squeezing the material softly. You tapped on my door lightly, and your voice floated through the cracks. 

“Lance? It’s me, Keith. Can I come in?” I almost sobbed at the sound. There you were, only feet away. I stood and walked quietly to my door and leaned up against it, gripping the handle. Grasping your jacket within my other hand, I undo the lock on the door and back away. Slowly, the handle turned, feeling like days were passing, I stared at the floor. I heard you step inside and close the door behind you, and I lost it. Tears were streaming down my face, falling onto my feet, my shirt, the rug. I couldn’t let you see me cry, that was being weak.   
“Lance…” I grimaced, batting away the tears on my face with the hand not holding the one piece of you I knew for certain. You must have walked over to me, cause I could see the colors of your socks in front of my feet through the tears. I expected you to say something, or ask me why I was crying. I didn’t expect you to pick my chin up with your hand, forcing me to make eye contact with you, to see that you were crying too. I didn’t expect you to wrap your arms around me, to pull me into you. Or for you to place your head on my shoulder, clinging to me as a child would to a parent. I encased you within my lanky arms within seconds and we were a hugging, crying mess. Your bones stuck out at odd places, and you were still small around your shoulders. You still smelled of pine and chocolate. Your hair still felt soft against my cheek. You are still Keith.   
“I thought you forgot about me.” I mumbled into your neck with a soft voice.   
“Impossible. You’re Lance McClain. The unforgettable. Just cause I disappeared for a while doesn’t mean I forgot about my best friend literally ever.” I cried harder when I heard you say those words.    
“I missed you so much, it was so hard here without you. I tried to keep up with everything, but I just couldn’t.” Your hand found it’s way into my hair, twirling it around your fingers.   
“It’s okay, I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”  
We stayed like that for a while. Eventually we pulled apart from our hug, you sat at my desk and I sat on the edge or my bed. We were just talking like we used to. It felt like you had never left. My mama brought us up some lunch, and I didn’t realize how hungry I was until my entire sandwich and half of yours was in my stomach. Mama was happy to bring me another two sandwiches. While I was eating, you looked at everything that was on my desk. Lots of tests with low grades, some papers with doodles on them, and on the very bottom, was my drawing of you. I had just finished my third sandwich when you pulled it out from under the mess and held it out in front of you.   
“Lance? Did you draw this?” Your eyes looked up at me in wonder. My ears burned of embarrassment.   
“Uh, yeah. I did. It’s just something I did while you were gone and-“   
“This is absolutely amazing, Lance! Who knew you were so talented? Well I mean I always knew you would so something big with your life, but wow, this is stunning! I didn’t even know I could look this good!” You rambled about my drawing for the next half hour, impressed by all of the details that had taken me weeks to perfect. You asked me how long it had taken me, and I told you that it took me two months, even though it was closer to three.  
You were awed by the fact that I stayed focused on one task for that long. Then you asked why I couldn’t do that with my school work. Your question shocked me, but I soon realized that I didn’t really have an answer other than the fact that my drawing included you, and school did not. You said now that you were back, you were going to help me get back on track. I told you about Hunk and you said that you were excited to meet him. Then you told me a little about Shiro.  
We talked for hours, and soon it was time for you to go, but you didn’t want to go. I didn’t want you to go. So we hid in my closet and talked some more. Eventually our moms gave up and we went back into my bedroom. It was really late, so we decided to go to bed. I gave you some of my old clothes, but they were still too big for you. On my bed, your jacket was still laying, slightly wrinkled and smushed. Your eyes lit up when you saw it. You thought you had lost it again. I asked if you wanted it back, but you must have seen the slight twinge of sadness in my eyes, and you said I could keep it. I said that you could still wear it though, because it was one of the things that make you Keith. We moved everything that didn’t belong off of my bed, and got settled in. It was odd, curling up next to you after so long of it just being me. Your back was pressed to my chest and my arm was slung against your hips. My nose was pressed to the nape of your neck and you were so warm.

 

 

2/5/18  
It wasn’t long before we fell asleep, and you were still there when I woke up. You were back, Keith. Finally back. Both of us are different now, but we’re in the place we belong. Together, in one spot. We both have a new friend, but it will always just be me and you. Let’s talk about our old memories and make some new ones together. How does that sound, Keith?


End file.
